What’s In A Name?

Due to university essays taking over my life, my beer-drinking has been curtailed somewhat the past two weeks.

As a result, my mission of tracking down odd beers has stalled.

However. The final essay (one of four 2500 word reports) is due on Thursday, and the status quo will joyfully resume!

Now. I happened to be in a bottle shop the other day, and out of the corner of my eye spotted “Effen Lager“. As in, you walk up to the bar and say “Give me an Effen Lager.”

I like it.

It got me thinking though. What makes a beer name great? Is it humour alone? Is it the image it conjures in your mind? So, in the process of not writing my essay, I looked back over my list of beers. And here’s what the Top Ten Beer names I came up with (in no particular order):

1) Unibroue Don De Dieu – It’s French. Let’s get that out of the way first. And it means “Gift of God.” Brings to mind the famous quote from Benjamin Franklin: “Beer is proof God exists wants us to be happy.” As an added bonus, it’s a ripping beer.

2) Arrogant Bastard Oaked Ale – Arrogant. Bastard. Enough said really.

3) Badger Fursty Ferret – Evokes an image of a drunk ferret trying to chase some sort of small creature around a backyard.

4) Orkney Brewery Skull Splitter – Comes with a Viking on the bottle. And drink enough of these bad boys (the beer weighs in at about 8%) and you will have a splitting headache the next morning.

5) Harviestoun Mr Sno’balls – Perhaps the most ridiculous, and therefore awesome beer name I’ve come across.

6) Little Creatures Single Batch The Dreadnought – Dreadnoughts were a big, heavy, ‘Get out of my way Germans or I’ll blow you to pieces” warship. The Dreadnought beer is a big, heavy, “Get out of my way watery lager or I’ll blow you pieces” sort of beer.

7) Brew Boys Seeing Double Wee Heavy – It’s a Scotch Ale, so it’s thick and rich and big on the alcohol. Combines the concept of a drunken sensation with some Scottish slang. Can’t complain.

8 ) Bright Stubborn Russian – A big, black stout from the boys up in Bright. Not that Russians are big and black. I mean sure, some of ’em are big. But….look, it’s just a good name OK?

9) Lord Nelson Three Sheets Pale Ale – To be ‘three sheets to the wind’ is to be on an old sailing ship out of control in a storm. It also refers to being outrageously drunk. Genius.

10) Jamieson Beast IPA – Included on the basis that it sums up the beer amazing well in the space of just two words. It’s an IPA. And it’s a beast of a beer – hops and flavour-wise.

Honourable Mentions: Murray’s Dark Knight Porter (Did I include this just because I like Batman? Yes. Yes I did), Burleigh Fanny Gertrude’s Bickie Beer (Say the words Fanny Gertrude. Out loud, or maybe to someone else. It just sounds dirty doesn’t it?), Dubuisson Cuvee Des Trolls (It’s marketing is based on the legend of trolls, so it gets my vote), Brewdog Trashy Blonde (Who here doesn’t love a trashy blonde?)


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